Like burrs or bee stings-- but mostly happier

Some things people have said that I will never forget:
(I will spare everyone by not stating the obvious themes.)

Of course I have a drawer for you.
Are you going to sleep tonight at all?
How can you not be able to do a cartwheel?
You know how a caterpillar has to disappear for a while before it becomes a butterfly?

Yeah, it was funny at first, but it's just annoying now.
You don't have to be a tomboy to be a nice person, Amanda.
Amanda, did you say to him what he says you said to him? --because that would be a very bad thing to say.
Like the shirt; hate the face.
[whispered] He says it's not a joke.
Will your mom homeschool me, too?

What exactly do you think you're doing? You two can go listen to the sermon or you can go to class.
I can see it. [i.e., Your ears make you look weird.]
It's just... the ponytail that bothers me.
He thinks you're cute.

I forgive you.
I hate it when they fight.
I already knew about it then. I saw you out the kitchen window.
I was impressed: she was really good with the kids.
I will never, ever, ever do it again.

No summer tan yet, mmm?
I'm so glad you're my daughter.
Wait patiently and I promise you'll get hips. And you really won't like them when you do.
I am privileged to know you.
No. She was always beautiful.

[alarmed] Does this have to do with me? Are you compensating for a missing father figure?
You're Carol's daughter? You don't... look like yourself.
I would have wanted to be your friend.
All my children have surprisingly small noses, considering.

I was joking, actually. I don't have a girlfriend.
If I was able to do it, you most certainly can.
[creepily] Hey there.
But Amanda doesn't need to see that. She's still innocent.
I pulled you over for speeding.
I'm proud of you.

You'll make a good social worker.
Her mom tells me she handled it like an adult.
I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else, and you have to promise not to tell them.
Ha. Hahanghhghguhh.