A week full of epiphanies

SUNDAY
The geese think it's spring. Haha.
They don't have calendars.
Haha.

MONDAY
Crispin is a funny name.

TUESDAY
I'm finishing my second year of college already.
I missed my first class.
In my second class, I submitted a paper containing punctuation with which I do not agree. To please Mrs Reddick.
Success has its price.

WEDNESDAY
On careful consideration, it is amazing that I'm still alive, have all my faculties, and am doing okay in school.
Because of this miracle I was able to skip assembly, wake up at two this afternoon, have some chocolate for breakfast, stare at the computer screen, type a longish blog entry with my arms at the wrong angle, take the interstate, play my music almost loud enough to melt my ears, and threaten an angry goose at a close distance.

THURSDAY
I miss the smells of my house.
Courtney is a phantom suitemate. I think she comes into room 304 about twenty percent more often than I'm aware.

FRIDAY
I can't always predict a Kelly reaction.
If you are familiar with the geese that make frequent use of our sidewalks, think of the noises those geese make.
Now recall "the Abominable", if you are familiar with him. Think of him laughing-- the louder sort that often occurs in crowds.
In pitch, in quality, in salience--
SIMILAR NOISES, REALLY.
Aww.

SATURDAY
I have a lot in common with Winnie the Pooh.
If I were an animal, I would probably be either a bear or a goose. (More on this later.)

Like burrs or bee stings-- but mostly happier

Some things people have said that I will never forget:
(I will spare everyone by not stating the obvious themes.)

Of course I have a drawer for you.
Are you going to sleep tonight at all?
How can you not be able to do a cartwheel?
You know how a caterpillar has to disappear for a while before it becomes a butterfly?

Yeah, it was funny at first, but it's just annoying now.
You don't have to be a tomboy to be a nice person, Amanda.
Amanda, did you say to him what he says you said to him? --because that would be a very bad thing to say.
Like the shirt; hate the face.
[whispered] He says it's not a joke.
Will your mom homeschool me, too?

What exactly do you think you're doing? You two can go listen to the sermon or you can go to class.
I can see it. [i.e., Your ears make you look weird.]
It's just... the ponytail that bothers me.
He thinks you're cute.

I forgive you.
I hate it when they fight.
I already knew about it then. I saw you out the kitchen window.
I was impressed: she was really good with the kids.
I will never, ever, ever do it again.

No summer tan yet, mmm?
I'm so glad you're my daughter.
Wait patiently and I promise you'll get hips. And you really won't like them when you do.
I am privileged to know you.
No. She was always beautiful.

[alarmed] Does this have to do with me? Are you compensating for a missing father figure?
You're Carol's daughter? You don't... look like yourself.
I would have wanted to be your friend.
All my children have surprisingly small noses, considering.

I was joking, actually. I don't have a girlfriend.
If I was able to do it, you most certainly can.
[creepily] Hey there.
But Amanda doesn't need to see that. She's still innocent.
I pulled you over for speeding.
I'm proud of you.

You'll make a good social worker.
Her mom tells me she handled it like an adult.
I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else, and you have to promise not to tell them.
Ha. Hahanghhghguhh.

Scintillating

111. My hair is getting long.
112. I can honestly look up to-- enjoy and respect-- both Jenny and Justin.
113. I am finally beginning to let go of certain fears, resentments, false desires and sins that have held me back for weeks, months or years because
114. God is incredibly faithful.
115. Brittany made sure I got one of the gift boxes from Jenny's bachelorette party, even though I couldn't be there.
116. I wouldn't trade my friends for anything.
117. There are points at about 1:30 and 2:58 and 3:37 on the song "Dismantle.Repair." by Anberlin that give me chills.
118. A Bit of Fry and Laurie, season one, episode five, at 21:50-- "What about Maureen Limp-Whippy-Pippy-Doh-Doh?"
119. Sherrill built me a playset in the backyard when I was little.
120. Courtney or Kelly playing Brain Age is really cute.
121. I still remember how pleased I was when my mother picked me up from preschool, and I told her about the finger painting we had done, and she smiled at me.
122. I think I more enjoy playing cards when I'm not winning, which is quite the good fortune considering the circumstances.
123. The sunset today was maybe even more gorgeous than usual. If it had been a flavor, it would have been... whatever flavor is best described as a spot of gold within a bright, warm magenta set on a perfect backdrop of purples and blues, chalky in texture but smooth and clean and full of sunny, gushing, scintillating life.

It was Seymour, actually

I was driving home for spring break, and I felt like a failure. To quote Rabbit: "My mornings are just not complete without at least one major catastrophe." I had wanted a nice day, the kind full of nonevents issuing soundlessly from a conveyer belt.

And then the person in front of me hit his brakes, and I did wild circles across two lanes of traffic. Somebody honked. I found myself in a ditch, somehow very alive, uninjured, and in such utter disbelief that I couldn't even be mad at myself.

And then I was standing outside looking at the wheels on my car, the mud and the snow, at people groaning as they passed, men emerging from tow trucks, police officers raising their eyebrows at me. And I was on my cell phone, talking to a new person every twenty minutes. I was scouring the map for "Nichol", "Bristol" and "Seymour", taking notes about where exactly I might be, adding insurance papers and phone numbers to the impossible mess in the passenger seat. I was sighing and huffing and making low growls.

Over an hour passed, and I was asking God to just be there, and I was wringing my hands in despair-- when suddenly I noticed the warmth of my hands and remembered how Brayden would clutch my finger. I remembered how he trusts the people who love him.

And I was okay.