Guess what?

So I wake up and it's 12:30pm. Stats class started at 12:15pm; therefore, I have missed Stats class. I have missed Stats quiz and Stats lecture, and I cannot turn in Stats homework. And also I missed Kenneth Starr, who spoke in assembly. Assembly was at 11:00am. I wasn't there.

I stayed up late working on Stats, hence the fateful nap from 9:15am to 12:30pm, the nap that ruined my day.

Then, as I'm dry-crying (because of the Prozac I took in, like, 2003) and resetting my alarm, resigning myself to another nap to mollify the pain, I hear my phone ring.

I bolt up the stairs and end up on speakerphone, talking with Dad and hearing my family's wonderful voices in the background.

We have a new Landon Garrett Webb.

I'm all crazy go nuts inside. I thank God a bazillion times.

And then I drive to the school, ready for the droopy side of the day, because Brian Stogner is a very kindly oldish Stats teacher, but he is in no way obligated to give me a break of any kind. The school is crowded with people who came to see Kenneth Starr.

And what do I see on the door? A piece of paper!! And it says,

DR STOGNER WILL NOT BE HAVING STATS CLASS TODAY DUE TO THE KEN STARR LUNCHEON, ALL STUDENTS SHOULD WEBCT QUIZ TAKEHOME ETC, ETC

And I walk out saying to myself, "Dear Kenneth Starr, I love you and I want to have your nationally infamous baby."

Except guess what? I don't actually because I get to see Brayden and Landon in a few weeks!

Update: I return to campus and pick up two packages at the bookstore: a Michelle Tumes cd and my Halloween costume, which is AMAZING.

And then, in Ethics class, Rubel Shelly proves that he does remember what it was like to be human. He gives me a chance to finish the exam I completely flopped.

His round, mechanical eyes are almost warm as he humiliates me in front of Robyn Lampel and Stephen Bone, saying the essay I did write was the best among the essays he received for that exam.

And he says in at least nine slightly different ways that he doesn't want to penalize students for running out of time.

I want to cry. Shame I can't.