Top 10s

Now if the others will just get with the program and post theirs... :)

Top 10 Favorite Disney Movies:
1. Beauty and the Beast
2. 101 Dalmatians
3. The Emperor's New Groove
4. The Little Mermaid
5. Robin Hood
6. The Aristocats
7. The Jungle Book
8. Fantasia
9. Aladdin
10. Dinosaur

Top 5 Favorite Disney Girls:
1. Ariel
2. Belle
3. Mulan
4. Aurora
5. Alice

Top 5 Favorite Disney Guys:
1. The Beast
2. Robin Hood
3. Baloo
4. Roger
5. Fagan

Top 10 Favorite Disney Villains:
1. Yzma
2. Prince John
3. Cruella de Vil
4. Edgar
5. Captain Hook
6. Lucifer
7. Scar
8. Maleficent
9. Jasper and Horace
10. Gaston

Top 5 Favorite Disney Sidekicks:
1. Flounder
2. Kronk
3. Sabastian
4. Iago
5. Chip

Top 10 Favorite Disney Songs:
1. Beauty and the Beast
2. Kiss the Girl
3. Something There
4. Cruella de Vil
5. Candle on the Water
6. Part of Your World
7. Whistle-Stop
8. Can You Feel the Love Tonight
9. Just Around the Riverbend
10. stuff from Fantasia

Top 10 Favorite Songs:
1. Blindside- After You're Gone
2. Twila Paris- Arise, My Soul, Arise
3. Five Iron Frenzy- Dandelions
4. Rich Mullins- The Love of God
5. Rebecca St James- Lord, You're Beautiful
6. Passion Worship Band- Fairest Lord Jesus
7. Watermark- The Purest Place
8. Anberlin- Dismantle.Repair
9. David Crowder Band- You Are My Joy
10. David Gray- Slow Motion

Runners Up:
Dead Poetic- Vices
Michelle Tumes- Christ of Hope
Placebo- Follow the Cops Back Home
Switchfoot- I Turn Everything Over
Ginny Owens- Who Are You Listening To

Top 10 Favorite Bands:
1. Blindside
2. Switchfoot
3. Skillet
4. Anberlin
5. Five Iron Frenzy
6. Watermark
7. Jars of Clay
8. David Crowder Band
9. Dead Poetic
10. Falling Up

Top 10 Favorite Artists:
1. Twila Paris
2. Rich Mullins
3. Yanni
4. Jill Phillips
5. Michelle Tumes
6. Mat Kearney
7. Michael Card
8. Derek Webb
9. Tim Hughes
10. David Gray

Top 10 Favorite Movies:
1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy
2. The Harry Potter series
3. Return to Me
4. 28 Days Later
5. Garden State
6. X-Files: Fight the Future
7. Batman Begins
8. Monsters, Inc.
9. Rain Man
10. The Game

Top 10 Favorite Comedies:
1. What's Up, Doc?
2. Waking Ned Devine
3. Fun With Dick and Jane
4. Orange County
5. Benny and Joon
6. While You Were Sleeping
7. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
8. The Trouble With Angels
9. Stepford Wives
10. Clifford

Top 10 Favorite Movie Characters:
1. Sam (Benny & Joon)
2. Judy Maxwell
3. Rachel Devery
4. Samwise Gamgee
5. Clifford Daniels
6. Faramir
7. Steven (Nacho Libre)
8. Inigo Montoya
9. Lance Brumder
10. Judge Maxwell

Top 10 Favorite Books:
1. Ruthless Trust
2. The Chronicles of Narnia
3. Harry Potter series
4. One Wintry Night
5. Mark of the Lion series
6. Jeeves & Wooster
7. The Phantom Tollbooth
8. The House of Sixty Fathers
9. A Bear Called Paddington
10. Eats, Shoots & Leaves

Top 10 Favorite Book Characters:
1. Aslan
2. Samwise Gamgee
3. Severus Snape
4. Lucy Pevensie
5. Edmund Pevensie
6. Reginald Jeeves
7. Penelope (The Odyssey)
8. Junie B. Jones
9. Winnie the Pooh
10. Shasta

Top 10 Favorite TV Shows:
1. NCIS
2. Lost
3. Everybody Loves Raymond
4. Conan O'Brien
5. X-Files
6. The Simpsons
7. The Cosby Show
8. Scrubs
9. A Bit of Fry & Laurie
10. Jeeves & Wooster

Top 10 Favorite TV Characters:
1. John Locke
2. Timothy McGee
3. Cosmo Kramer
4. Debra Barone
5. Robert Barone
6. Fox Mulder
7. Dana Scully
8. Principle Skinner
9. Dewey
10. Percival Cox

Top 5 Favorite Musicals:
1. The Nutcracker
2. Fiddler on the Roof
3. Yentl
4. The Sound of Music
5. A Charlie Brown Christmas

Top 10 Favorite RC Teachers:
1. Sarah Reddick
2. David Brackney
3. Brian Stogner
4. Keith Huey
5. Vivian Turner
6. Keeley Weber
7. Pam Cox
8. John Todd
9. Gordon MacKinnon
10. Xander Waites

Top 10 Favorite Quotes:
1. "I have not begun to know. Everything I have ever written, spoken or experienced of the love of Jesus Christ is barely a hint, a straw, or dry leaves blowing in the wind." -Brennan Manning
2. "This life of ours is a very enjoyable fight, but a very miserable truce." -G. K. Chesterton
3. "The great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not." -C. S. Lewis
4. "'What is a chicken doing in the potions dungeon?' snapped Snape. 'Chickens do not belong anywhere near the subtle science and exact art that is potion making!'" -Potter47
5. "Since when have you taken bubble baths?" "It came out of the faucet that way, Eunice." (What's Up, Doc?)
6. "Grace binds you with far stronger cords than the cords of duty or obligation can bind you." -E. Stanley Jones
7. "I have a scathingly brilliant idea!" (The Trouble With Angels)
8. "I like talking to Rabbit. He talks about sensible things. He doesn't use long, difficult words, like Owl. He uses short, easy words, like 'What about lunch' and 'Help yourself, Pooh.'" (Winnie The Pooh)
9. "A whole gang of chocolate! I need it badly!" (Clifford)
10. "And I bought you a packet of your favorite Mexican crisps." (Waking Ned Devine)

Top 10 Favorite Websites:
1. google.com
2. wikipedia.org
3. purevolume.com
4. ebay.com
5. youtube.com
6. sxc.hu
7. xkcd.com
8. theonion.com
9. quotation-marks.blogspot.com
10. pogo.com

Top 10 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Subway
2. Pizza King
3. Cracker Barrel
4. Fazoli's
5. Wendy's
6. Taco Bell
7. Panera Bread
8. Rax
9. A&W
10. Qdoba

Top 10 Favorite Cereals:
1. Frosted Shredded Wheat
2. Raisin Bran
3. Honey Nut Cheerios
4. Smart Start
5. Cocoa Pebbles
6. Lucky Charms
7. Honeycomb
8. Golden Grahams
9. Apple Jacks
10. Cracklin' Oat Bran

Top 5 Favorite Dinners:
1. Chicken
2. Soup and sandwich
3. Salmon
4. Taco salad
5. Pasta

Top 5 Favorite Breakfasts:
1. Banana
2. Strawberries
3. Oatmeal from scratch
4. Scrambled eggs
5. Tiger tail

Top 5 Favorite Snacks:
1. Sun Chips
2. Soft pretzel
3. String cheese
4. Doritos crackers
5. Turkey jerky

Top 10 Favorite Desserts:
1. Sno-cone
2. Orange
3. Monkey bread
4. Angel food cake
5. Dreamsicle
6. Blizzard
7. Dark chocolate
8. Snickers pie
9. Cinnamon roll
10. Ice cream

Top 10 Favorite Boy Names:
1. Ben
2. Camon
3. Barry
4. Charlie
5. Joel
6. Lucas
7. Ethan
8. Colin
9. Brennan
10. Evan

Top 10 Favorite Girl Names:
1. Julia
2. Kathleen
3. Caroline
4. Evelyn
5. Aiden
6. Norah
7. Maggie
8. Anna
9. Alexis
10. Trine

Guess what?

So I wake up and it's 12:30pm. Stats class started at 12:15pm; therefore, I have missed Stats class. I have missed Stats quiz and Stats lecture, and I cannot turn in Stats homework. And also I missed Kenneth Starr, who spoke in assembly. Assembly was at 11:00am. I wasn't there.

I stayed up late working on Stats, hence the fateful nap from 9:15am to 12:30pm, the nap that ruined my day.

Then, as I'm dry-crying (because of the Prozac I took in, like, 2003) and resetting my alarm, resigning myself to another nap to mollify the pain, I hear my phone ring.

I bolt up the stairs and end up on speakerphone, talking with Dad and hearing my family's wonderful voices in the background.

We have a new Landon Garrett Webb.

I'm all crazy go nuts inside. I thank God a bazillion times.

And then I drive to the school, ready for the droopy side of the day, because Brian Stogner is a very kindly oldish Stats teacher, but he is in no way obligated to give me a break of any kind. The school is crowded with people who came to see Kenneth Starr.

And what do I see on the door? A piece of paper!! And it says,

DR STOGNER WILL NOT BE HAVING STATS CLASS TODAY DUE TO THE KEN STARR LUNCHEON, ALL STUDENTS SHOULD WEBCT QUIZ TAKEHOME ETC, ETC

And I walk out saying to myself, "Dear Kenneth Starr, I love you and I want to have your nationally infamous baby."

Except guess what? I don't actually because I get to see Brayden and Landon in a few weeks!

Update: I return to campus and pick up two packages at the bookstore: a Michelle Tumes cd and my Halloween costume, which is AMAZING.

And then, in Ethics class, Rubel Shelly proves that he does remember what it was like to be human. He gives me a chance to finish the exam I completely flopped.

His round, mechanical eyes are almost warm as he humiliates me in front of Robyn Lampel and Stephen Bone, saying the essay I did write was the best among the essays he received for that exam.

And he says in at least nine slightly different ways that he doesn't want to penalize students for running out of time.

I want to cry. Shame I can't.

Balloons

I'm sorry the party has ended so soon
I hear the rain beating down hard on balloons
I think I gave up long before my chance passed
Just dreaming of things that I never should have
I danced for the gods and they granted my wish
It left me a scar, I expected a kiss

I see through the grey to the reds and the blues
Can I say that it's just someone else's deluge
Oh, can I pretend I'm not crushed by disgrace
And the softness and love that I see in your face
And if I turn up at the door where you are
A kiss where I had expected a scar

I just figured out the name for something that I have known for most of my life, but have never been able to articulate. It explains (for my own satisfaction) a lot of the neurotic, depressing things I do. Essentially, what I realized is that I like to be heard.

One of the worst feelings I've ever had is the feeling that I'm talking, but nobody's listening. It happens to everyone sometimes-- there's the group of people, and Person #1 has just begun talking when the pet bird goes up in flames and distracts everyone, or something. And that's fine.

But say Person #1 is talking, and Person #2 suddenly remembers something HILARIOUS that came up during the day, and starts explaining it while Person #1 is still talking. And no one seems to mind.

Or perhaps Person #1 is talking, but Person #3 disagrees with him. Person #3 is important, meaning that he holds some position of authority, or some academic degree, or some quality that causes people to regard him as especially spiritual. Or maybe he's just the sort who commands a lot of attention. And so no one dares defend the argument Person #1 is making, or even suggest that it be given equal consideration.

Growing up, I often seemed to be at or near the tail end of the priority scale. It was fairly likely I'd be heard if I was one of two people. But bigger groups meant I would just sort of be there, no matter how hard I tried. I was too young, or too silly, or I didn't like the right things, or I was already an outsider because I was the newest one there.

Three was decidedly the worst number, because the other two people would pair off, and that left me alone, but without an excuse to leave.

So I focused on friendly adults, or younger kids, who seemed a little more willing to hear me. Eventually I tried something new-- I talked loudly, and occasionally even interrupted, to compete with dominant personalities. That didn't work.

If I tried to contribute, but no one responded, I would become frustrated and angry, which scared me. I had no idea what to do with those feelings. So I avoided them. I turned them into cynicism. When I believed people were not giving me so much as a toehold on their attention, I used my favorite strategy: I stopped trying. It didn't matter whether I looked silly, or disrespectful, or asocial, if the people who saw me that way were people who would never have cared much about me anyway.

I think these feelings, and the ways I have dealt with them, are the source of a lot of my habits and ideas. I tend to embrace a sense of isolation and independence, because at times it seemed those things were my best buddies. They replaced the feeling that I just didn't belong. My basic line of reasoning: if someone won't give me his attention, why should I bend over backward getting it?

As far back as I can remember, people do not interest me by merit of being popular or respected-- although I do not reject them because of it-- rather, they earn my respect by showing that they are willing to genuinely listen to people like me. I distrust the people who are important to me, afraid that their devotion to people they don't even know will surpass devotion to their own families and friends.

I feel trapped in the obligation to impress certain people, to profess sentiments that do not belong to me. Every once in a while, I want to say something highly offensive, just to see how many people would notice. I'm unnaturally drawn to what is forbidden or ignored.

The fascination with breaking away from the confines of society extends to a number of my interests, and to the way I usually do friendships, and it has seriously colored my thoughts about what is "romantic". For example,

"Just one more round before we're through / More psychedelic yuppie flu [i.e., alcohol] / It's such a silly thing to do / Now we're stuck on rewind [...] Let's follow the cops back home / And rob their houses" --Placebo

"Can we get away / Far away / Let's leave this place / Will you come with me / Are you down / To turn your world around [...] Get in my rocketship / We'll leave the light of day / Staying on the turning away" --Shiny Toy Guns

"I want to take you far / From the cynics of this town / And kiss you on the mouth / We'll cut our bodies free / From the tethers of this scene / Start a brand new colony" --The Postal Service

"While the rest of the girls are drowning in roses and songs he composes / And while the rest of the guys are all trying, trying so hard / Oh girl, let's crash the party / El Dorado on the lawn / Let's burn holes in the carpets / Kicking, shouting, dancing on the tables all night long" --Ok Go

(Returning to practical things.) When thrown a curve ball in the form of a good friend who unexpectedly stops listening, I find myself talking MORE, jabbering in hopes of regaining that attention. The longer it goes on, the shallower and less sincere my talking gets. Sometimes the difficulty in self-disclosing is not "Will you still accept me after I tell you this?" but "Do you really even care to know?"

When I feel listened to, I end up talking relatively less-- no need for it. And I end up taking chances, involving myself in other people's lives. For instance, because I feel important to God, I'm a much better person when I've been talking with him frequently. I'm able to let down my defensiveness and look at the big picture. And joining a small mentoring group, where I actually feel like an equal, was a fantastic move for me.

And all of this is convincing me that I really need to work on my own listening, and be available to other people, because this is a big deal. It affects everything. To know that someone cares to know me is to know that I matter, and if I matter as a person, then my choices matter, too.

Dad

Darling, in your frightened state
Don't worry we will separate
Come back and find you're still alive
Better naked than dressed in lies
And darling, you can't know
        (I turned, you didn't see me)
Your face was at the window
        (You watched as I was leaving)
My eyes became so blurry
But I could see you clearly
I wanted you to hear me:
My darling, don't you worry