Shadow
'Twas early on Father's Day, and I was thinking about how I squirm when he looks at me.
In a style borrowed from Cleolinda Jones, here are the events of Friday night:
Duane, Marty, Jordan and Amanda sit down for a movie in the Webbs' immaculate living room. The lights go out, sort of. A lot of words fade on and off of the screen, likely including the title of the film, which is "End of the Spear", but Amanda isn't reading them. She's remembering how she read about this in middle school.
MOVIE: (starts)
WAODANI: (are violent)
JORDAN: They're killing each other!
DUANE: Yes, it's a shame, Jordan.
WAODANI: (run fearfully through the trees)
DUANE: Savage.
AMANDA: (quietly) Be careful how you use that word.
DUANE: (does not hear)
JORDAN: (concerned) The boys are wearing those...
DUANE: Loincloths.
TIME FRAME: (changes)
DUANE: Those loincloths look different now that they've grown up.
AMANDA: (bites her lip)
WAODANI: (are misled into killing the missionaries)
JORDAN: Dad! They're being so horrible! Why?
DUANE: Because they're Indians.
WAODANI: (kill)
DUANE: They're savages. (turns to stare pointedly at Amanda)
AMANDA: (continues to look at the television)
SEVERAL TENSE SECONDS: (pass)
WAODANI: (run adeptly through the trees)
JORDAN: Why are they doing that?
DUANE: Well, see, Jordan, they're still an uncivilized people, they don't really have skills.
AMANDA: They have the skills they need.
WAODANI MAN WHO BETRAYED THE MISSIONARIES: (slowly dies with arrows through his chest)
JORDAN: Well, he deserved it.
AMANDA: (jawdrop) Jordan, if you had lied, would you want to die because of it?
NATE SAINT: (is dead)
STEVE SAINT: NOOO! (kicks his dog)
JORDAN: (gets up on his palms) DAD! He can't do that!
DUANE: He's upset, Jordan.
JORDAN: It doesn't matter! YOU DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR PET!
DUANE: Jordan, you have never had to go through that. You don't understand.
MARTY: Be easier on him, Jordan.
AMANDA: (cries)
TIME FRAME: (changes)
STEVE SAINT: I am struggling to reconcile my anger with my understanding of mercy.
MINCAYANI: Mercy is weakness.
STEVE SAINT: Hmm. Maybe you're right.
EVENTS: (happen)
WAODANI: (have trouble parting with old habits)
MINCAYANI: Am I beginning to see the beauty of mercy and, consequently, the poverty of my merciless existence?
VIOLENCE: (threatens)
MARTY: So sick!
DUANE: Violent.
AMANDA: Just like all the rest of us would be if we'd never heard of Jesus.
DUANE: On a level, that's almost true, but the fact is some groups are much more depraved than others.
DUANE: (has had sex with half the women in the world)
AMANDA: It wasn't long ago the British were headhunters.
DUANE: (has difficulty hearing)
AMANDA: We kill babies, Dad! It doesn't get more primitive than that!
DUANE: (has a hearing defect) What they're doing is bad.
AMANDA: They'd hardly experienced anything else. They needed Jesus.
DUANE: They had consciences. They knew. Paul wrote, Romans one twenty, that men are without excuse, since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities have been understood--
AMANDA: ...
The movie finishes and everyone is more or less pleased with it--on some level. Amanda thanks Duane for dinner, for the movie, for the grape juice. She starts up the Metro, rolls the window all the way down and pulls out of the driveway. As soon as she's out of the neighborhood, she turns the stereo up until the car vibrates.
MASSIVIVID: I do not want to do what I'm about to, but I'm afraid that I can't stop.
AMANDA: (is mad)
NIGHT AIR: (is balmy)
MASSIVIVID: I'd gladly trade my nothing for Your everything, I just get so scared that I will drop. Hope casts me headlong into You--
AMANDA: Hmm.
MASSIVIVID: I never saw my shadow 'till I saw the light, and now I need more light to drown it out.
AMANDA: --
DUANE: (has not seen his shadow)
AMANDA: (does not want Duane : Mincayani :: Amanda : Duane)
2 comments:
Good to see you're posting again...I can't really sleep tonight. All I can do is sit here in bed and cry. What for? Who knows? I just bought that movie on Saturday-- haven't watched it yet. Been to busy. I miss school. I miss being a kid. I miss Kristen, Stephen, Chioma, Dave, Monica, Robyn, Tyler, even Ashley. I miss you too. Not much is fun around here. Mostly none of us get along with Mom very well. I'm so sick and tired of being at home. I want to go to Ireland. NOW. Trying to read a John Eldredge book. Submitting some photos to an art expo at RCC. Josh and Chris are trying to get the congregation to discover art as a spiritual act. I'm really going out of my mind at the moment. I've worked over 70 hours the past 2 weeks. I need sleep. I need Mr. Golden's Class...
How are you?
I feel like Courtney and want to move.
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